三田先生寄贈之日文佛學書籍第一批已寄到。據說還有兩批書會陸續寄來。為感謝三田先生，我特將三田先生已寄來及將寄來的書籍，配合我自己的佛學書籍，編成一個三田小文庫。歡迎有興趣的人來我的研究室內閱覽。
今天將第一批日文書籍的書目列出。下次會將我自己配合的書目列出。然後等下兩批書也到達，並分別列出清單之後，最後會整理出一個總書目。
（いのち）をほほ笑む
「この世」と「あの世」を結びことば
2007年8月25日 星期六
2007年7月20日 星期五
王建民連勝中止 Chien-Ming Wang's winning streak stops at 7
沒有人能保持不敗的。今天王建民的敗，可惜的地方是在敗得莫名其妙。我是說，教練和隊友也說不出問題何在，王建民也只是自評說第七局對手抓到直球。
No one can stay undefeated. But we are upset about Wang's lost today because it was an incomprehensible lost. I mean, Joe Torre and other teammates of Wang could not figure out what went wrong, and Wang also only commented that the Jays caught several of his breaking balls well.
然而，我覺得撇開洋基今天的貧打不談，第七局的失血，是有很明確的原因的。尤其這事件是發生在僅以二比零領先的時刻，更顯出它的不該。
However, leave alone the poor offense of the Yanks today, I think that there is a critical event that cost Wang those three ER. This 'error', I should say, is a serious one, especially when there was only a 2-run lead at that moment.
當威爾斯擊出那個小滾地球時，我覺得王建民不應該等球出界。等球滾出界當然總是會有風險。重要的是當時只有兩分領先，這球沒抓到打者，就是在沒人出局時把追平分放在一壘。這是多麼危險的狀況！
When Vernon Wells hit that stupid grounder, I think Wang should not wait for the ball to go OB. There is always a risk waiting for such ground balls to go OB. But under that situation, if you could not catch the hitter, you will put the tying run on base and there's no out. Forget about Stairs there. With the tying run on 1B with no out is a very dangerous situation, isn't it?
接下來果然證明這個錯誤的重大。Glaus打出高飛犧牲打。接下來Thomas 打出滾地球，如果當時 Wells 是已經出局的話， Thomas 就是第三個出局者，連 Stairs 那一分也拿不到，更何況接下來的兩分？
The following situations proved that mistake to be extremely costly. Glaus was out on a SF. Then the Big Hurt hit the ground ball. If Wells was out by then, the Big Hurt will be the third out of the inning. The Jays would not even earned that run by Stairs, not to mention the next 2 runs after 2 outs.
運動員並不真的需要追求霸佔所有的勝利。但是他應該要追求自己的表現是盡到了最大的努力。在那個狀況下那樣處理 Wells 的滾地球，其實就是一個重大的缺失。也許當時是 Nieves 甚至其它隊員或教練下指令說不要接，那麼也許我們就不該全怪王建民。但是無論如何當時就是因為那一球使得不至於輸的比賽搞到輸掉。
A sportsman does not have to look to have all the victories. However, he should make sure that he has done all his best. Handling Wells' ground ball like that at that time is itself a serious flaw. Maybe Nieves, or other teammates, or even the coaches, yelled to Wang to not to pick it up at that time. If that's the case, we can put not all the blame on Wang. But in any case, it was that play which cost a game that seemed not to be lost.
如果那一球不被視為安打，而被視為一個處理球的失誤，那麼王建民連續40場無非自責分的紀錄也就應該中斷了。不是嗎？很多人還沒有搞得很清楚這個紀錄的重要性。很多人還在說那是因為王建民投球的時候隊友都很專心守備。不是的。這個紀錄的意義在於即使隊友失誤給他壓力，他仍能為隊友解套，解決麻煩。這是一個投手追求完美的精神與能力的重要指標！王建民沒有多少三振紀錄，防禦率也只是穩定在3附近，沒有大起大落但也沒有極優。但為什麼他有那種巨星的架勢？其實就在於那種不露罩門的奮戰能力啊！所以教練才會常常說「他遇到困境，但他總是在奮戰」。為什麼教練不去說井川慶每次都搞出一堆困境來奮戰？為什麼只說王建民？我當然還是會一樣地全心為王建民加油，但是我更希望他能聽到我的聲音：不要忘了今天在追求完美的路上出現了危機。不是因為今天輸球，而是因為今天在不應該賭的時候賭了一球，這是絕對需要檢討的。這是求全之毀！
If that play was not taken as a hit but taken as an error, then Wang's streak of no UER allowed in 40 consecutive games will also terminate. Many people still could not figure out the importance of this record. Many still say that this is because his teammates are more focused on defense when he pitches. This is NOT the case!! The meaning of this record is that when his teammates committed errors and caused pressure, Wang can find the way to get his team out of trouble. This is an indication of how well a pitcher is running after perfection, in terms of both his mental quality and his ability! Wang does not have many SOs, and his ERA is stably around 3 without much fluctuation, but there are many 3- pitchers in the League. Then why does Wang look like an ace out there? That's mainly because he always played hard not to show weak points to the opponents. That's also why Torre often commented that "Wang was not in his best but he kept battling." Why doesn't Torre said that Igawa caused himself even more trouble and kept battling on? Why does he only talk like that about Wang? I will of course continue to give my best wishes to Wang in his career, but I hope that somehow he can hear my voice: Don't forget that you yourself have made mistakes in your pursuit of perfection today! It was not because you lost the game. It was because you handled a play in the wrong way at a moment when you should not have played like that. You definitely need to reflect on that play. This is a criticism out of the best wishes for you to be perfect.
No one can stay undefeated. But we are upset about Wang's lost today because it was an incomprehensible lost. I mean, Joe Torre and other teammates of Wang could not figure out what went wrong, and Wang also only commented that the Jays caught several of his breaking balls well.
然而，我覺得撇開洋基今天的貧打不談，第七局的失血，是有很明確的原因的。尤其這事件是發生在僅以二比零領先的時刻，更顯出它的不該。
However, leave alone the poor offense of the Yanks today, I think that there is a critical event that cost Wang those three ER. This 'error', I should say, is a serious one, especially when there was only a 2-run lead at that moment.
當威爾斯擊出那個小滾地球時，我覺得王建民不應該等球出界。等球滾出界當然總是會有風險。重要的是當時只有兩分領先，這球沒抓到打者，就是在沒人出局時把追平分放在一壘。這是多麼危險的狀況！
When Vernon Wells hit that stupid grounder, I think Wang should not wait for the ball to go OB. There is always a risk waiting for such ground balls to go OB. But under that situation, if you could not catch the hitter, you will put the tying run on base and there's no out. Forget about Stairs there. With the tying run on 1B with no out is a very dangerous situation, isn't it?
接下來果然證明這個錯誤的重大。Glaus打出高飛犧牲打。接下來Thomas 打出滾地球，如果當時 Wells 是已經出局的話， Thomas 就是第三個出局者，連 Stairs 那一分也拿不到，更何況接下來的兩分？
The following situations proved that mistake to be extremely costly. Glaus was out on a SF. Then the Big Hurt hit the ground ball. If Wells was out by then, the Big Hurt will be the third out of the inning. The Jays would not even earned that run by Stairs, not to mention the next 2 runs after 2 outs.
運動員並不真的需要追求霸佔所有的勝利。但是他應該要追求自己的表現是盡到了最大的努力。在那個狀況下那樣處理 Wells 的滾地球，其實就是一個重大的缺失。也許當時是 Nieves 甚至其它隊員或教練下指令說不要接，那麼也許我們就不該全怪王建民。但是無論如何當時就是因為那一球使得不至於輸的比賽搞到輸掉。
A sportsman does not have to look to have all the victories. However, he should make sure that he has done all his best. Handling Wells' ground ball like that at that time is itself a serious flaw. Maybe Nieves, or other teammates, or even the coaches, yelled to Wang to not to pick it up at that time. If that's the case, we can put not all the blame on Wang. But in any case, it was that play which cost a game that seemed not to be lost.
如果那一球不被視為安打，而被視為一個處理球的失誤，那麼王建民連續40場無非自責分的紀錄也就應該中斷了。不是嗎？很多人還沒有搞得很清楚這個紀錄的重要性。很多人還在說那是因為王建民投球的時候隊友都很專心守備。不是的。這個紀錄的意義在於即使隊友失誤給他壓力，他仍能為隊友解套，解決麻煩。這是一個投手追求完美的精神與能力的重要指標！王建民沒有多少三振紀錄，防禦率也只是穩定在3附近，沒有大起大落但也沒有極優。但為什麼他有那種巨星的架勢？其實就在於那種不露罩門的奮戰能力啊！所以教練才會常常說「他遇到困境，但他總是在奮戰」。為什麼教練不去說井川慶每次都搞出一堆困境來奮戰？為什麼只說王建民？我當然還是會一樣地全心為王建民加油，但是我更希望他能聽到我的聲音：不要忘了今天在追求完美的路上出現了危機。不是因為今天輸球，而是因為今天在不應該賭的時候賭了一球，這是絕對需要檢討的。這是求全之毀！
If that play was not taken as a hit but taken as an error, then Wang's streak of no UER allowed in 40 consecutive games will also terminate. Many people still could not figure out the importance of this record. Many still say that this is because his teammates are more focused on defense when he pitches. This is NOT the case!! The meaning of this record is that when his teammates committed errors and caused pressure, Wang can find the way to get his team out of trouble. This is an indication of how well a pitcher is running after perfection, in terms of both his mental quality and his ability! Wang does not have many SOs, and his ERA is stably around 3 without much fluctuation, but there are many 3- pitchers in the League. Then why does Wang look like an ace out there? That's mainly because he always played hard not to show weak points to the opponents. That's also why Torre often commented that "Wang was not in his best but he kept battling." Why doesn't Torre said that Igawa caused himself even more trouble and kept battling on? Why does he only talk like that about Wang? I will of course continue to give my best wishes to Wang in his career, but I hope that somehow he can hear my voice: Don't forget that you yourself have made mistakes in your pursuit of perfection today! It was not because you lost the game. It was because you handled a play in the wrong way at a moment when you should not have played like that. You definitely need to reflect on that play. This is a criticism out of the best wishes for you to be perfect.
2007年7月18日 星期三
轉載 陳芳明老師 社論
中國時報 A19/時論廣場 2007/07/15
解嚴豈可忘記戒嚴
【陳芳明】
二十年，對歷史來說，誠然是太短的時間。在這麼短暫的時間裡，台灣社會承受過的戒嚴文化，不能也不該輕易淡忘。牢牢記住這段受害的歷史經驗，絕對不是 為了記帳報仇，也不是為了某種特定的政治目的。記住它，是為了紀念我們曾有的怯懦，更是為了記取權力曾經為台灣社會創造無可置信的愚蠢。我們過於軟弱，才 縱容戒嚴體制存在如此長久。權力過於傲慢，才在歷史上留下如此深刻的傷害。
解嚴才二十年，戒嚴卻長達三十八年。受害那麼久的台灣社會，如果有人對於戒嚴文化表達過於嚴苛的批判與詬罵，應該都可以獲得容忍。多少靈魂的冤屈，多 少人格的委曲，被壓抑如許長久之後，這個社會應該提供一些管道讓他們發抒出來。任何悲憤的語言，無論有多強烈，都無法與戒嚴時期的暴力相互比並。解嚴已然 到來，戒嚴所造成的傷害至今還是停留在陣痛階段。七年之病，求三年之艾。我們需要以更長的時間與更寬容的耐心，為受傷的靈魂療傷止痛。
所謂靈魂的受害，並非只是指某些特定政治犯的失去生命與失去自由而已，而是指整個社會都被拘禁在精神的囚牢。當新聞局長謝志偉說，戒嚴時期有二十萬人 受害，他指的應該是白色恐怖的政治犯及其家屬。國民黨的發言人竟然說，這是誇大數字，而且是在挑撥群族對立。這樣的發言，不僅沒有誠實面對歷史真相，甚至 還在歷史傷口上灑鹽。二十萬人受害的數字其實還是過於簡化，不足以反映整個社會受害的實況。在戒嚴時期即使有那麼多人沒有坐牢的經驗，沒有遭到處決的命 運，但是戶口檢查制度與思想檢查制度，對台灣文化生產力的斲喪，至今還是無法估算。
這種文化傷害，絕對沒有族群的區隔，戒嚴體制最公平的地方，就在於它完全無視族群的界線。凡是任何思想不容於當權者，就立即劃入異端的行列。海外有那 麼多未曾回歸的遊子，甚至到今天還有人選擇自我放逐，這都是戒嚴時期黑名單制度遺留下來的惡果。國民黨總統候選人馬英九說「只會回顧歷史，沒有出息。」這 種說法，萬萬不能同意。面對歷史是需要勇氣，尤其是有志於爭取總統大位者，更需要對於歷史錯誤表現相當的勇氣。
國民黨建立了戒嚴體制，這是明顯易見的歷史錯誤。只要有一個人在這個不正當的體制下受害，就絕對是不德不義。馬英九應該對這樣的歷史問題採取正面的反 省，而不是選擇逃避，更不是刻意扭曲。不敢面對歷史的領導者，對台灣社會將有可能帶來更大的傷害。在解嚴二十周年的今天，國民黨領導階層必須對歷史給個說 法，應該思考如何建構正面的歷史論述。大而化之的態度，漠然冷視的身段，將遭致整個社會的批判與審判。
阿扁總統在接受電視訪談時表示，馬英九永遠站在歷史錯誤的那一邊。這句話的殺傷力是至大且鉅，不能等閒視之，畢竟台灣社會都睜開眼睛，等待國民黨如何 對戒嚴歷史做出反省。然而，阿扁說出如此嚴重的語言時，也對綠色執政構成極大的反諷。阿扁確實曾經站在歷史正確的那一邊。從黨外運動時期，他選擇了扮演反 對者與批判者的角色，對戒嚴禁區的突破，誠然有過令人信服的奉獻。
然而，台灣歷史並不因為綠色執政就宣告終止。阿扁政府在這七年的所作所為，並沒有使台灣社會獲得真正解放的感覺。曾經在歷史上選擇正確那一邊的人，並 不必然保證從此就不會創造錯誤。事實證明，阿扁選對了歷史正確的那一邊，卻在執政後站在錯誤的那一邊。對於在戒嚴時期付出慘重代價的台灣社會，這樣的執政 品質能夠對得起嗎？那麼多的知識分子、政治運動者，以及沒有發言權的眾生百姓，在戒嚴時期犧牲他們的生命與青春，竟無法兌換一個等值的民主政府，綠色執政 能夠平撫受害的靈魂嗎？
受害並不等於正義。要追求正義，除了在克服受害的歷史之外，還必須建立合理、公平的民主政治。一方面紀念戒嚴，一方面製造貪腐，對於被囚禁過的社會， 反而帶來更大傷害。馬英九的「沒有出息」論，陳水扁總統的「歷史錯誤」論，都不能彌補歷史傷害於萬一。解嚴已經過去二十年，歷史記憶竟變得如此支離破碎。 我們怵然覺悟，精神枷鎖其實還未卸下，民主政治猶待追求。
（作者為政治大學台灣文學研究所所長）
解嚴豈可忘記戒嚴
【陳芳明】
二十年，對歷史來說，誠然是太短的時間。在這麼短暫的時間裡，台灣社會承受過的戒嚴文化，不能也不該輕易淡忘。牢牢記住這段受害的歷史經驗，絕對不是 為了記帳報仇，也不是為了某種特定的政治目的。記住它，是為了紀念我們曾有的怯懦，更是為了記取權力曾經為台灣社會創造無可置信的愚蠢。我們過於軟弱，才 縱容戒嚴體制存在如此長久。權力過於傲慢，才在歷史上留下如此深刻的傷害。
解嚴才二十年，戒嚴卻長達三十八年。受害那麼久的台灣社會，如果有人對於戒嚴文化表達過於嚴苛的批判與詬罵，應該都可以獲得容忍。多少靈魂的冤屈，多 少人格的委曲，被壓抑如許長久之後，這個社會應該提供一些管道讓他們發抒出來。任何悲憤的語言，無論有多強烈，都無法與戒嚴時期的暴力相互比並。解嚴已然 到來，戒嚴所造成的傷害至今還是停留在陣痛階段。七年之病，求三年之艾。我們需要以更長的時間與更寬容的耐心，為受傷的靈魂療傷止痛。
所謂靈魂的受害，並非只是指某些特定政治犯的失去生命與失去自由而已，而是指整個社會都被拘禁在精神的囚牢。當新聞局長謝志偉說，戒嚴時期有二十萬人 受害，他指的應該是白色恐怖的政治犯及其家屬。國民黨的發言人竟然說，這是誇大數字，而且是在挑撥群族對立。這樣的發言，不僅沒有誠實面對歷史真相，甚至 還在歷史傷口上灑鹽。二十萬人受害的數字其實還是過於簡化，不足以反映整個社會受害的實況。在戒嚴時期即使有那麼多人沒有坐牢的經驗，沒有遭到處決的命 運，但是戶口檢查制度與思想檢查制度，對台灣文化生產力的斲喪，至今還是無法估算。
這種文化傷害，絕對沒有族群的區隔，戒嚴體制最公平的地方，就在於它完全無視族群的界線。凡是任何思想不容於當權者，就立即劃入異端的行列。海外有那 麼多未曾回歸的遊子，甚至到今天還有人選擇自我放逐，這都是戒嚴時期黑名單制度遺留下來的惡果。國民黨總統候選人馬英九說「只會回顧歷史，沒有出息。」這 種說法，萬萬不能同意。面對歷史是需要勇氣，尤其是有志於爭取總統大位者，更需要對於歷史錯誤表現相當的勇氣。
國民黨建立了戒嚴體制，這是明顯易見的歷史錯誤。只要有一個人在這個不正當的體制下受害，就絕對是不德不義。馬英九應該對這樣的歷史問題採取正面的反 省，而不是選擇逃避，更不是刻意扭曲。不敢面對歷史的領導者，對台灣社會將有可能帶來更大的傷害。在解嚴二十周年的今天，國民黨領導階層必須對歷史給個說 法，應該思考如何建構正面的歷史論述。大而化之的態度，漠然冷視的身段，將遭致整個社會的批判與審判。
阿扁總統在接受電視訪談時表示，馬英九永遠站在歷史錯誤的那一邊。這句話的殺傷力是至大且鉅，不能等閒視之，畢竟台灣社會都睜開眼睛，等待國民黨如何 對戒嚴歷史做出反省。然而，阿扁說出如此嚴重的語言時，也對綠色執政構成極大的反諷。阿扁確實曾經站在歷史正確的那一邊。從黨外運動時期，他選擇了扮演反 對者與批判者的角色，對戒嚴禁區的突破，誠然有過令人信服的奉獻。
然而，台灣歷史並不因為綠色執政就宣告終止。阿扁政府在這七年的所作所為，並沒有使台灣社會獲得真正解放的感覺。曾經在歷史上選擇正確那一邊的人，並 不必然保證從此就不會創造錯誤。事實證明，阿扁選對了歷史正確的那一邊，卻在執政後站在錯誤的那一邊。對於在戒嚴時期付出慘重代價的台灣社會，這樣的執政 品質能夠對得起嗎？那麼多的知識分子、政治運動者，以及沒有發言權的眾生百姓，在戒嚴時期犧牲他們的生命與青春，竟無法兌換一個等值的民主政府，綠色執政 能夠平撫受害的靈魂嗎？
受害並不等於正義。要追求正義，除了在克服受害的歷史之外，還必須建立合理、公平的民主政治。一方面紀念戒嚴，一方面製造貪腐，對於被囚禁過的社會， 反而帶來更大傷害。馬英九的「沒有出息」論，陳水扁總統的「歷史錯誤」論，都不能彌補歷史傷害於萬一。解嚴已經過去二十年，歷史記憶竟變得如此支離破碎。 我們怵然覺悟，精神枷鎖其實還未卸下，民主政治猶待追求。
（作者為政治大學台灣文學研究所所長）
2007年7月3日 星期二
在「寫給台灣的情書」部落格，與三田先生對話
1980年代、我訪問台南神学院。校庭で有一位老紳士が歩いておられるのは見かけた。一緒にいた牧師告訴我「那位是陳文成博士的父親」。お気の毒で声をかけることは出来なかった・・・２０年以上前の想い出です。
Posted by 三田裕次 at June 29,2007 14:47
國中時我也曾隨學校(嘉義輔仁中學)的活動去參觀過台南神學院。不過那是在陳文成博士殉難之前的事了。
進台大時，新生大樓的五樓以上樓梯(通往屋頂)總是深鎖著。當時不知為何那麼好奇，竟去找學長姐追問，得到的答案是：「陳文成事件之後就這樣了。」但那時對政治沒有 sense 的我，就沒再深究這事件到底是怎麼回事了。
事實上當時的我和現在很不一樣。真的。我是比鄭南榕學長更標準的外省二代。而且我父親是由海南防衛總部情報局出身的(薛岳的部隊)，來台後在革命實踐研究 院幹訓班結業。其後因為調任空軍子弟學校校長，才和軍隊脫離。知道國民黨結構的人都會訝異地問道：「你父親怎麼沒有當官？」大概是因為進入學校而與宦途遠 離了吧。
然而即使如此，我從小唸書沒付過一毛學費。中學時代也是由輔仁中學校長特別約定給我全額獎學金。不然我的家境其實是不太能負擔我唸私立教會學校的。上台大 一直唸到博士畢業，也都一直是拿獎學金(我是資優跳級生)。高中的時候我很強烈地認為我是受國家栽培長大的，為了國家的需要(自己想的)，放棄我較有興趣 的文史哲，而獻身科學。蔣經國死去的當時，我大學二年級，正逢人生的低潮。學業、前途覺得很徬徨無助。在那晚冬的蕭瑟氣氛中，我去剃了個大光頭。當時嘉友 會的朋友們問我為何剃頭，我懶得解釋諸多的挫折和煩悶，就在留言簿上隨意地答道：「是為了蔣經國過世。」不知誰匿名地在後面批道：「這年頭還有奴性那麼重 的人。」後來我在自己不太如意、想要遠離人群的心情下，沒有再去嘉友會。多年之後，當年的會長，葉啟政教授的高足黃厚銘教授，遇到我時還問我是否因為留言 簿上的那句回應而不再去嘉友會。
大三上，我瞞著家裡，完全沒有修物理系的課，跑去上中文系的課，也旁聽哲學和歷史系的課。那裡什麼樣的老師都有。我上的最多的是裴溥言老師的課。裴老師的 先生是羅家倫的秘書靡文開，她的父親是蔣系的中將。她是臺靜農教授的關門弟子，當年隨臺教授來接收台大圖書館，親身經歷二二八事件，曾跟我說過當時台灣人 仇殺外省人的恐怖景象。我除了白天上她的詩經和左傳，她也在晚上讓我到家裡跟她讀戰國策。後來她就完全退休到美國養老去了，我成了她的闗門弟子。這樣算 來，由於臺靜農算是胡適的關門弟子，我變成是胡適門下第三代的關門弟子。這是中文系的朋友給我的戲稱。
但也有完全不同背景的老師。教莊子的是吳密察老師；教非形式邏輯的是楊樹同老師；教中國思想史的，也是後來影響我最深的，是錢新祖老師。楊樹同老師教導的 思辨方法，讓我對文字、言語中的種種魔障能看得透澈；而加上錢老師的課，讓我真正有機會變成一個不受別人左右、獨立思考的人。同時，我也變成了禪學的信 徒。
對自己的思想、文化背景等等有了深入的思索、也有了「了解了自己」的自信之後，慢慢地對「我是不折不扣的台灣人」有了堅定的信念。其中心路的轉折，我想是和胡大姐發現自己聽了多年的天大的謊言是差不多的吧。這段過程中微妙的體驗太多，實在一言難盡。
因為灣灣和我妻的一位學姐的小孩只差一個月，妻和這位學姐阿咪從懷孕期間就常以 email 交換經驗，從日本返台之後，也和阿咪家密切往來。阿咪的大舅舅是前任的行政院長。有一天她對我說，她向前院長提過我。她覺得很好奇，我是個外省囝仔，為什 麼言談之間那麼愛台灣。我想了一想，只能對她說：我也無法理解為什麼在這片土地上還有人不愛台灣。
當思想沈澱，當一切虛偽都在深刻的思辨中在心底現出原形，你自然很簡單地剩下對自己家園的深深摯愛。這分愛會鼓舞你有勇氣堅持為自己的家、為自己的家園和同胞做正確的事。我想，在陳文成博士心中，在鄭南榕學長心中，一定也都是體悟了這一切。
到前不久，因為在南方電子報看到一篇爆笑的「人人都是哈瓦那大學教授」，才來到這個部落格散心。竟因緣際會地，讓自己在無止境的研究工作中，又抽出時間來 溫習關於台灣的一切，那些我在大三以後、以及在筑波，曾深切關心過又放在一邊的，台灣的故事。然而和以前不一樣的，這次，翻著胡大姐的書，我忽然汗流浹背 地想到一個問題：「我父親會在台灣殺過人嗎？」
父親是隨薛岳的部隊撤來台灣的，那是在海南島失守的時候。印象中，父親提過到逹台灣的時間，應該是在一九五零年，和鎮壓二二八已經有三年的間隔了。應該不 會是在基隆港登陸殺人的部隊。但是我不敢去問他到台灣之後是否參與了其它迫害台灣人的工作。對於自己花了二十多年才體認自己是台灣人，我已經覺得是一生中 最愚蠢的事了。我真的怕會發現，和蔣友柏一樣，我的上一代迫害過台灣人。以前我並沒有想過這個問題。最近我才發現，萬一真有這樣的事，我心裡會難以承 受....
明晚我們一家就會去參加新書發表會了。今晚，忍不住放下其它工作把心裡的一些話掏出來講。我很敬佩胡大姐和林大哥在台灣意識復活的年代中曾經付出的貢獻。 真正的台灣人的歷史，在您們和其他有志之士的努力之下，得以被記錄下來。然而撇開歷史本身的中性角色不談，記下了這血跡斑斑的歷史，會給我們的家園帶來更 多的愛，還是更多的仇恨？這更得要靠我們後續的努力來決定。陳文成博士為了台灣流了血。鄭南榕學長為了台灣流了血。今後，是不是能夠讓我們不用再為愛台灣 而流血了呢？這是我最深的期望。有生之年，我都希望能夠為「愛台灣不用再流一滴血」的理想奉獻。希望這理想能實現的條件已成熟、這年代已經來臨。
進台大時，新生大樓的五樓以上樓梯(通往屋頂)總是深鎖著。當時不知為何那麼好奇，竟去找學長姐追問，得到的答案是：「陳文成事件之後就這樣了。」但那時對政治沒有 sense 的我，就沒再深究這事件到底是怎麼回事了。
事實上當時的我和現在很不一樣。真的。我是比鄭南榕學長更標準的外省二代。而且我父親是由海南防衛總部情報局出身的(薛岳的部隊)，來台後在革命實踐研究 院幹訓班結業。其後因為調任空軍子弟學校校長，才和軍隊脫離。知道國民黨結構的人都會訝異地問道：「你父親怎麼沒有當官？」大概是因為進入學校而與宦途遠 離了吧。
然而即使如此，我從小唸書沒付過一毛學費。中學時代也是由輔仁中學校長特別約定給我全額獎學金。不然我的家境其實是不太能負擔我唸私立教會學校的。上台大 一直唸到博士畢業，也都一直是拿獎學金(我是資優跳級生)。高中的時候我很強烈地認為我是受國家栽培長大的，為了國家的需要(自己想的)，放棄我較有興趣 的文史哲，而獻身科學。蔣經國死去的當時，我大學二年級，正逢人生的低潮。學業、前途覺得很徬徨無助。在那晚冬的蕭瑟氣氛中，我去剃了個大光頭。當時嘉友 會的朋友們問我為何剃頭，我懶得解釋諸多的挫折和煩悶，就在留言簿上隨意地答道：「是為了蔣經國過世。」不知誰匿名地在後面批道：「這年頭還有奴性那麼重 的人。」後來我在自己不太如意、想要遠離人群的心情下，沒有再去嘉友會。多年之後，當年的會長，葉啟政教授的高足黃厚銘教授，遇到我時還問我是否因為留言 簿上的那句回應而不再去嘉友會。
大三上，我瞞著家裡，完全沒有修物理系的課，跑去上中文系的課，也旁聽哲學和歷史系的課。那裡什麼樣的老師都有。我上的最多的是裴溥言老師的課。裴老師的 先生是羅家倫的秘書靡文開，她的父親是蔣系的中將。她是臺靜農教授的關門弟子，當年隨臺教授來接收台大圖書館，親身經歷二二八事件，曾跟我說過當時台灣人 仇殺外省人的恐怖景象。我除了白天上她的詩經和左傳，她也在晚上讓我到家裡跟她讀戰國策。後來她就完全退休到美國養老去了，我成了她的闗門弟子。這樣算 來，由於臺靜農算是胡適的關門弟子，我變成是胡適門下第三代的關門弟子。這是中文系的朋友給我的戲稱。
但也有完全不同背景的老師。教莊子的是吳密察老師；教非形式邏輯的是楊樹同老師；教中國思想史的，也是後來影響我最深的，是錢新祖老師。楊樹同老師教導的 思辨方法，讓我對文字、言語中的種種魔障能看得透澈；而加上錢老師的課，讓我真正有機會變成一個不受別人左右、獨立思考的人。同時，我也變成了禪學的信 徒。
對自己的思想、文化背景等等有了深入的思索、也有了「了解了自己」的自信之後，慢慢地對「我是不折不扣的台灣人」有了堅定的信念。其中心路的轉折，我想是和胡大姐發現自己聽了多年的天大的謊言是差不多的吧。這段過程中微妙的體驗太多，實在一言難盡。
因為灣灣和我妻的一位學姐的小孩只差一個月，妻和這位學姐阿咪從懷孕期間就常以 email 交換經驗，從日本返台之後，也和阿咪家密切往來。阿咪的大舅舅是前任的行政院長。有一天她對我說，她向前院長提過我。她覺得很好奇，我是個外省囝仔，為什 麼言談之間那麼愛台灣。我想了一想，只能對她說：我也無法理解為什麼在這片土地上還有人不愛台灣。
當思想沈澱，當一切虛偽都在深刻的思辨中在心底現出原形，你自然很簡單地剩下對自己家園的深深摯愛。這分愛會鼓舞你有勇氣堅持為自己的家、為自己的家園和同胞做正確的事。我想，在陳文成博士心中，在鄭南榕學長心中，一定也都是體悟了這一切。
到前不久，因為在南方電子報看到一篇爆笑的「人人都是哈瓦那大學教授」，才來到這個部落格散心。竟因緣際會地，讓自己在無止境的研究工作中，又抽出時間來 溫習關於台灣的一切，那些我在大三以後、以及在筑波，曾深切關心過又放在一邊的，台灣的故事。然而和以前不一樣的，這次，翻著胡大姐的書，我忽然汗流浹背 地想到一個問題：「我父親會在台灣殺過人嗎？」
父親是隨薛岳的部隊撤來台灣的，那是在海南島失守的時候。印象中，父親提過到逹台灣的時間，應該是在一九五零年，和鎮壓二二八已經有三年的間隔了。應該不 會是在基隆港登陸殺人的部隊。但是我不敢去問他到台灣之後是否參與了其它迫害台灣人的工作。對於自己花了二十多年才體認自己是台灣人，我已經覺得是一生中 最愚蠢的事了。我真的怕會發現，和蔣友柏一樣，我的上一代迫害過台灣人。以前我並沒有想過這個問題。最近我才發現，萬一真有這樣的事，我心裡會難以承 受....
明晚我們一家就會去參加新書發表會了。今晚，忍不住放下其它工作把心裡的一些話掏出來講。我很敬佩胡大姐和林大哥在台灣意識復活的年代中曾經付出的貢獻。 真正的台灣人的歷史，在您們和其他有志之士的努力之下，得以被記錄下來。然而撇開歷史本身的中性角色不談，記下了這血跡斑斑的歷史，會給我們的家園帶來更 多的愛，還是更多的仇恨？這更得要靠我們後續的努力來決定。陳文成博士為了台灣流了血。鄭南榕學長為了台灣流了血。今後，是不是能夠讓我們不用再為愛台灣 而流血了呢？這是我最深的期望。有生之年，我都希望能夠為「愛台灣不用再流一滴血」的理想奉獻。希望這理想能實現的條件已成熟、這年代已經來臨。
＞我都希望能夠為「愛台灣不用再流一滴血」的理想奉獻。
雖然我是一個外国人（第三者）、我完全同意K.K.Liang君的意見（＆決意）。
雖然我是一個外国人（第三者）、我完全同意K.K.Liang君的意見（＆決意）。
Posted by 三田裕次(MITA_Yuji) at July 2,2007 05:35
七月二日夜
七月二號晚上，我們一家應胡慧玲大姐的邀請出席了陳文成博士逝世二十六周年，暨「人權之路」日文版的新書發表會。地點在蔡瑞月舞蹈研究社。
原本以為最近晚上都還蠻涼爽的。但也許是位在巿中心，昨晚的會場有點悶熱。但是我和妻都很驕傲，能夠以不折不扣的台灣人的心情，抬頭挺胸地參加這個活動。
灣灣這個小名是怎麼來的？應該要交代一下。2003年我應聘到日本筑波工作。2004年初，我已與京都大學約定，四月一日要轉到京都大學化學研究所工作。日本的新年假期期間，我和妻回台北省親。在久久埋首在工作之中的日子中難得地放鬆了幾天。就在這幾天之中，妻懷了灣灣。
回到筑波，在二月中之後，妻才確定懷孕了。但其時我們必須忙著準備搬家到京都，妻實在十分地操勞。這是另外一段故事。後來在京都，對於在日本生小孩的各種情況做了一些了解之後，妻決定還是回台灣生產。做一個研究員，薪水並不高。而日本的健保對生產給付也不是很多，生產費用則相對地很貴。於是妻在八月多回台灣待產。
雖然我們當時旅居日本，但是灣灣是在台灣懷的，也是在台灣生的，所以我們決定她的小名叫灣灣。
但我們心裡想的比這還多。灣灣的母親是台灣人，父親也是台灣人。台灣是灣灣的故鄉，是灣灣的祖國。我們也為她挑了一首「灣灣的主題曲」，是楊祖珺唱的「美麗島」，並且從她一出生，每天洗澡的時候都唱給她聽，告訴她：「灣灣，這是你的歌喔！」灣灣的確能感受到。每次爸爸哄灣灣哄到沒有辦法，灣灣仍不停地哭的時候，爸爸如果唱起灣灣的歌，她就會停下哭聲來聽。
灣灣，世上除了有你的爸爸、媽媽之外，還有你的祖國台灣。台灣的歌，就是你的歌。請你永遠不要忘記聆聽台灣的聲音。
昨晚，我們是第一次帶著灣灣去參加屬於台灣的活動。很高興地，林世煜大哥、胡慧玲大姐，以及許多其他第一次見面的朋友，都很親切地和我們招呼。就好像是我們的家人一樣。許多人在台上講了話，其中包括林世煜大哥，謝志偉局長，和謝長廷先生。在筑波的時候，林伯伯、簡野先生、井上先生他們，總是把謝局長主持的電視節目錄起來，一再地傳來傳去、重複欣賞。大家講完話了，就開始了表演活動。兩位舞者表演蔡瑞月老師所編的「傀儡之舞」。這支描寫白色恐怖下一位母親的心情的舞蹈，在夏夜中雖然看起來有些悲涼，但是還是能提醒我們，台灣的心還沒有死。
表演之後，陳博士的二姐又講了幾句話，然後楊維哲老師主持了陳博士獎學金的頒獎典禮，大家就開始喝茶聊天了。灣灣脫了鞋，在舞蹈教室地板上跑來跑去，時而學著阿姨、姐姐們跳舞，又很興奮地抱著表演中搖籃裡的洋娃娃起來玩。我們和林大哥、胡大姐、陳育青小姐、葉雪淳伯伯等人聊了天，然後就回家了。
今天早上看新聞，馬英九去告謝局長昨晚的談話誹謗他，暗指他是職業學生。其它的新聞也只是報導到林世煜大哥不滿文化局要求提供邀請來賓名單。昨晚的好心情，幾乎被一掃而空。
馬英九，李永萍，昨晚在場的媒體....隨便回頭一看，台灣還是存在著那麼多令人不齒的人。和昨晚一同在座的鄉親比起來，那些人根本是另一個世界的人。因為陳文成事件，台灣人才開始擁有出國不用到警察局報備的自由。這些媒體人，你們什麼都不知道嗎？你們都沒有享受陳博士的血換來的自由和人權嗎？如果是你們的親人，在二十六年前的這一晚，被極權政府打死棄屍，你們看待這晚會，還會和現在一樣嗎？為什麼你們仍然甘願為法西斯製造假象，醜化你善良的同胞？沒有人報導這麼多鄉親、前輩們二十多年來為台灣人權含淚奮鬥的溫馨事跡，沒有人報導為這個社會保留良心、保留真愛的溫暖活動的內容，只醜化了我們對台北巿政府、對郝龍斌、李永萍的反駁。這就是台灣的媒體，無可救藥的惡質媒體。
馬英九究竟是不是職業學生？何謂職業學生？以為法西斯服務換取就學機會的，就是所謂的職業學生。中山獎學金是個什麼樣的獎學金？看看台大哲學系事件就很明白了。台大哲學系事件已經獲得台大校方的平反，表示當年無辜的師生們的確是受到政府的迫害。而當年扮演一要角的職業學生，就是後來得到中山獎學金酬庸的馮滬祥。中山獎學金不就是這麼一回事，不就是在養職業學生嗎？今天謝局長也拿出馬英九當年寫的自述出來佐證了。馬英九居然還是有臉去告人....讓我想起妻說的，某某女星明明整容過，但當記者來追問時，她堅決否認。妻認為她其實已經自我催眠，已經完全相信自己從未整容，打娘胎出來就是這樣子了。她不是有計畫、有深謀的說謊，而是已經潛意識地抗拒事實。更何況，謝局長說的只是：馬英九應該對自己是否為國民黨職業學生一事做一個說明。馬英九的惱羞成怒，根本就是不打自招。
不過不管怎麼說，台灣還是有無窮的生命，有勇敢的人民。我希望台灣的同胞們繼續用溫馨的愛互相扶持，讓終究包藏禍心、不知醒覺的人自取毀滅，讓我們最終用愛凝聚所有仍然有心的人，建立我們美麗的國家。
原本以為最近晚上都還蠻涼爽的。但也許是位在巿中心，昨晚的會場有點悶熱。但是我和妻都很驕傲，能夠以不折不扣的台灣人的心情，抬頭挺胸地參加這個活動。
灣灣這個小名是怎麼來的？應該要交代一下。2003年我應聘到日本筑波工作。2004年初，我已與京都大學約定，四月一日要轉到京都大學化學研究所工作。日本的新年假期期間，我和妻回台北省親。在久久埋首在工作之中的日子中難得地放鬆了幾天。就在這幾天之中，妻懷了灣灣。
回到筑波，在二月中之後，妻才確定懷孕了。但其時我們必須忙著準備搬家到京都，妻實在十分地操勞。這是另外一段故事。後來在京都，對於在日本生小孩的各種情況做了一些了解之後，妻決定還是回台灣生產。做一個研究員，薪水並不高。而日本的健保對生產給付也不是很多，生產費用則相對地很貴。於是妻在八月多回台灣待產。
雖然我們當時旅居日本，但是灣灣是在台灣懷的，也是在台灣生的，所以我們決定她的小名叫灣灣。
但我們心裡想的比這還多。灣灣的母親是台灣人，父親也是台灣人。台灣是灣灣的故鄉，是灣灣的祖國。我們也為她挑了一首「灣灣的主題曲」，是楊祖珺唱的「美麗島」，並且從她一出生，每天洗澡的時候都唱給她聽，告訴她：「灣灣，這是你的歌喔！」灣灣的確能感受到。每次爸爸哄灣灣哄到沒有辦法，灣灣仍不停地哭的時候，爸爸如果唱起灣灣的歌，她就會停下哭聲來聽。
灣灣，世上除了有你的爸爸、媽媽之外，還有你的祖國台灣。台灣的歌，就是你的歌。請你永遠不要忘記聆聽台灣的聲音。
昨晚，我們是第一次帶著灣灣去參加屬於台灣的活動。很高興地，林世煜大哥、胡慧玲大姐，以及許多其他第一次見面的朋友，都很親切地和我們招呼。就好像是我們的家人一樣。許多人在台上講了話，其中包括林世煜大哥，謝志偉局長，和謝長廷先生。在筑波的時候，林伯伯、簡野先生、井上先生他們，總是把謝局長主持的電視節目錄起來，一再地傳來傳去、重複欣賞。大家講完話了，就開始了表演活動。兩位舞者表演蔡瑞月老師所編的「傀儡之舞」。這支描寫白色恐怖下一位母親的心情的舞蹈，在夏夜中雖然看起來有些悲涼，但是還是能提醒我們，台灣的心還沒有死。
表演之後，陳博士的二姐又講了幾句話，然後楊維哲老師主持了陳博士獎學金的頒獎典禮，大家就開始喝茶聊天了。灣灣脫了鞋，在舞蹈教室地板上跑來跑去，時而學著阿姨、姐姐們跳舞，又很興奮地抱著表演中搖籃裡的洋娃娃起來玩。我們和林大哥、胡大姐、陳育青小姐、葉雪淳伯伯等人聊了天，然後就回家了。
今天早上看新聞，馬英九去告謝局長昨晚的談話誹謗他，暗指他是職業學生。其它的新聞也只是報導到林世煜大哥不滿文化局要求提供邀請來賓名單。昨晚的好心情，幾乎被一掃而空。
馬英九，李永萍，昨晚在場的媒體....隨便回頭一看，台灣還是存在著那麼多令人不齒的人。和昨晚一同在座的鄉親比起來，那些人根本是另一個世界的人。因為陳文成事件，台灣人才開始擁有出國不用到警察局報備的自由。這些媒體人，你們什麼都不知道嗎？你們都沒有享受陳博士的血換來的自由和人權嗎？如果是你們的親人，在二十六年前的這一晚，被極權政府打死棄屍，你們看待這晚會，還會和現在一樣嗎？為什麼你們仍然甘願為法西斯製造假象，醜化你善良的同胞？沒有人報導這麼多鄉親、前輩們二十多年來為台灣人權含淚奮鬥的溫馨事跡，沒有人報導為這個社會保留良心、保留真愛的溫暖活動的內容，只醜化了我們對台北巿政府、對郝龍斌、李永萍的反駁。這就是台灣的媒體，無可救藥的惡質媒體。
馬英九究竟是不是職業學生？何謂職業學生？以為法西斯服務換取就學機會的，就是所謂的職業學生。中山獎學金是個什麼樣的獎學金？看看台大哲學系事件就很明白了。台大哲學系事件已經獲得台大校方的平反，表示當年無辜的師生們的確是受到政府的迫害。而當年扮演一要角的職業學生，就是後來得到中山獎學金酬庸的馮滬祥。中山獎學金不就是這麼一回事，不就是在養職業學生嗎？今天謝局長也拿出馬英九當年寫的自述出來佐證了。馬英九居然還是有臉去告人....讓我想起妻說的，某某女星明明整容過，但當記者來追問時，她堅決否認。妻認為她其實已經自我催眠，已經完全相信自己從未整容，打娘胎出來就是這樣子了。她不是有計畫、有深謀的說謊，而是已經潛意識地抗拒事實。更何況，謝局長說的只是：馬英九應該對自己是否為國民黨職業學生一事做一個說明。馬英九的惱羞成怒，根本就是不打自招。
不過不管怎麼說，台灣還是有無窮的生命，有勇敢的人民。我希望台灣的同胞們繼續用溫馨的愛互相扶持，讓終究包藏禍心、不知醒覺的人自取毀滅，讓我們最終用愛凝聚所有仍然有心的人，建立我們美麗的國家。
2007年6月27日 星期三
觀察入微
找一個自己的部落格空間，一開始的原因是妻希望我為女兒灣灣寫些東西。寫些自己的東西也好，至少是屬於我自己的，不是屬於工作、屬於科學、屬於別人的。
部落格弄到現在，還是沒寫過真正關於自己或女兒的東西。猶豫不寫關於自己的事的原因是，有許多事不想被不喜歡的人看出是我寫的。還沒有為灣灣寫些什麼的原因則更複雜了。
每個父母應該都會覺得自己的小孩是最特別的。因為我自己也是那麼覺得。所以，我總是選擇自己享受關於灣灣的點點滴滴。除非是很熟很熟的人，很關心灣灣的事的人，我才會與他們分享。如果一天到晚在部落格上寫灣灣多可愛多棒，別的父母看到了，即使客觀上灣灣比他們的小孩可愛、特別、優秀，他們大概也不會這麼想，更何況，我從來只希望灣灣學會快樂就好，我從來都只告訴自己灣灣並沒有什麼特別。她特別之處就是她是我的小寶貝。
但是我這種想法，或許會造成我們沒有把灣灣成長中的點滴好好紀錄下來？或許她所表現出來的，沒有比其他小孩特別，但是她什麼時候會做什麼事、或具有某種能力，不也是值得為她紀錄下來的嗎？嗯。所以讓我試著以比較平實的態度來記下灣灣的生活小花絮吧！
一位朋友託我幫忙借書，說今天下午會到中研院來，可以來找我拿。中飯後我出門，卻忘了把借好的書帶在身上。妻和灣灣已經去睡午覺，灣灣正享受著母親甜美的懷抱。
這時妻忽然想到，自己嘟噥了一句：「啊！爸比大概忘了把阿咪阿姨要借的書帶出去。」但她想，還是先哄到灣灣睡著了，再起來打電話給我吧！免得弄得她不想睡了，就麻煩了。
等了一會兒，灣灣開口說：「媽咪，你是不是要去哪裡呀？」妻嚇了一跳，連忙說：「沒有啊！沒有啊！媽咪要陪你睡覺啊！」
灣灣又等了一會兒，說：「你是不是應該去打電話給爸比啊？」妻差點暈倒。她怎麼想得那麼清楚。但也只好說：「好吧，那媽咪先去打電話給爸比喔！你在這裡等我。」
妻出來撥電話，和我約定了把書放在門口鞋櫃上，讓我回來拿。然後回去臥房，再抱著灣灣睡覺。灣灣又問道：「那你把書放在門口了嗎？」
妻贊曰：「至少可以確定她的生活能力沒有像你那麼差。」
灣灣就是這樣，很注意我們平常一舉一動的細節，而且她很努力去了解其中原委。與其說她優秀，不如說她天生就對這麼做有興趣。我一向都覺得興趣比天資要重要得多。
像有一天，妻在淋浴，灣灣在一旁泡小澡缸玩玩具。妻調了一下水龍頭，灣灣忽然問道：「你怎麼了啊？」妻不解，說：「媽咪在沖水啊！沖肥皂啊！」
灣灣常常在問問題時心中其實已經有標準答案，她會等著聽看看你的答案是否符合她設定的標準答案。如果不符合，她會表現出她的不滿，或者是再度追問。
這回她說：「你的水是不是太熱啦？」
妻以為灣灣只是在旁邊自己玩自己的，但她其實一直在觀察著妻的動作，並且不斷地思考著每個動作是否有特殊意義。
這就是我們每天帶著的灣灣。灣灣每天都在仔細地觀察我們的生活，像是小學自然老師叫大家養蠶一樣。
部落格弄到現在，還是沒寫過真正關於自己或女兒的東西。猶豫不寫關於自己的事的原因是，有許多事不想被不喜歡的人看出是我寫的。還沒有為灣灣寫些什麼的原因則更複雜了。
每個父母應該都會覺得自己的小孩是最特別的。因為我自己也是那麼覺得。所以，我總是選擇自己享受關於灣灣的點點滴滴。除非是很熟很熟的人，很關心灣灣的事的人，我才會與他們分享。如果一天到晚在部落格上寫灣灣多可愛多棒，別的父母看到了，即使客觀上灣灣比他們的小孩可愛、特別、優秀，他們大概也不會這麼想，更何況，我從來只希望灣灣學會快樂就好，我從來都只告訴自己灣灣並沒有什麼特別。她特別之處就是她是我的小寶貝。
但是我這種想法，或許會造成我們沒有把灣灣成長中的點滴好好紀錄下來？或許她所表現出來的，沒有比其他小孩特別，但是她什麼時候會做什麼事、或具有某種能力，不也是值得為她紀錄下來的嗎？嗯。所以讓我試著以比較平實的態度來記下灣灣的生活小花絮吧！
一位朋友託我幫忙借書，說今天下午會到中研院來，可以來找我拿。中飯後我出門，卻忘了把借好的書帶在身上。妻和灣灣已經去睡午覺，灣灣正享受著母親甜美的懷抱。
這時妻忽然想到，自己嘟噥了一句：「啊！爸比大概忘了把阿咪阿姨要借的書帶出去。」但她想，還是先哄到灣灣睡著了，再起來打電話給我吧！免得弄得她不想睡了，就麻煩了。
等了一會兒，灣灣開口說：「媽咪，你是不是要去哪裡呀？」妻嚇了一跳，連忙說：「沒有啊！沒有啊！媽咪要陪你睡覺啊！」
灣灣又等了一會兒，說：「你是不是應該去打電話給爸比啊？」妻差點暈倒。她怎麼想得那麼清楚。但也只好說：「好吧，那媽咪先去打電話給爸比喔！你在這裡等我。」
妻出來撥電話，和我約定了把書放在門口鞋櫃上，讓我回來拿。然後回去臥房，再抱著灣灣睡覺。灣灣又問道：「那你把書放在門口了嗎？」
妻贊曰：「至少可以確定她的生活能力沒有像你那麼差。」
灣灣就是這樣，很注意我們平常一舉一動的細節，而且她很努力去了解其中原委。與其說她優秀，不如說她天生就對這麼做有興趣。我一向都覺得興趣比天資要重要得多。
像有一天，妻在淋浴，灣灣在一旁泡小澡缸玩玩具。妻調了一下水龍頭，灣灣忽然問道：「你怎麼了啊？」妻不解，說：「媽咪在沖水啊！沖肥皂啊！」
灣灣常常在問問題時心中其實已經有標準答案，她會等著聽看看你的答案是否符合她設定的標準答案。如果不符合，她會表現出她的不滿，或者是再度追問。
這回她說：「你的水是不是太熱啦？」
妻以為灣灣只是在旁邊自己玩自己的，但她其實一直在觀察著妻的動作，並且不斷地思考著每個動作是否有特殊意義。
這就是我們每天帶著的灣灣。灣灣每天都在仔細地觀察我們的生活，像是小學自然老師叫大家養蠶一樣。
2007年6月22日 星期五
沈默的王牌 Ace in America
昨天終於下決心買了 "沈默的王牌". 用了一天半, 把它看完了.
Yesterday I made up my mind to finally buy the "Ace in America: The story of Chien-Ming Wang's rise to stardom with the New York Yankees" written by Sam Borden, Mark Feinsand and Peter Abraham. (This book is only translated into Chinese and pulished in Taiwan, not published in the US) I finished reading it in one and a half days.
之所以能看那麼快, 一大部分要歸因於書寫得很流暢好讀. 連翻譯和校稿的水準也很高. 有美方參與, 好像真的品質不一樣. 希望台灣也會自己製作出很多品管那麼紮實的書.
I have to attribute my being able to read this book so fast to the good writing of this book. The levels of translation and prof-reading both seem very high. Is it because American publishers also take part in the production? I hope that Taiwanese publishers can produce more qualitied books like this one by themselves.
Yesterday I made up my mind to finally buy the "Ace in America: The story of Chien-Ming Wang's rise to stardom with the New York Yankees" written by Sam Borden, Mark Feinsand and Peter Abraham. (This book is only translated into Chinese and pulished in Taiwan, not published in the US) I finished reading it in one and a half days.
之所以能看那麼快, 一大部分要歸因於書寫得很流暢好讀. 連翻譯和校稿的水準也很高. 有美方參與, 好像真的品質不一樣. 希望台灣也會自己製作出很多品管那麼紮實的書.
I have to attribute my being able to read this book so fast to the good writing of this book. The levels of translation and prof-reading both seem very high. Is it because American publishers also take part in the production? I hope that Taiwanese publishers can produce more qualitied books like this one by themselves.
2007年6月14日 星期四
鼓舞
洋基八連勝了。不管之前打得怎麼樣，任何一個球隊可以維持八連勝，都算是很了不起的成績。想想這樣的過程，是將近兩星期的持續高檔。如果是打大相撲，兩星期的連勝表示可以拿一個場所的全勝優勝了。接下來重要的是，不要讓一兩場的失利(總有一天會來的)而把士氣和感覺又打下去了。現在的紅襪正在這樣的關頭上。哪一隊可以把實績和信心都維持在高檔，才有希望成為最後的勝出者。
郭泓志打出台灣球員在大聯盟的第一支全壘打。那個「郭氏甩棒」會不會太臭屁了呢？的確是有一點，但是我印象中這樣甩棒的鏡頭倒是很多。比那還誇張的就的確很少了。在日本更多。阿部慎之助，中村紀洋，Rhodes，好像都常常這樣甩。
運動比賽能帶給人的一大好處就是極大的鼓舞，讓人參與在積極、高亢的情緒之中。我想一定有許多有益身心的物質分泌出來。
不過這些鼓舞似乎不夠讓我鼓起勁繼續寫中英對照的文章。太累了....
郭泓志打出台灣球員在大聯盟的第一支全壘打。那個「郭氏甩棒」會不會太臭屁了呢？的確是有一點，但是我印象中這樣甩棒的鏡頭倒是很多。比那還誇張的就的確很少了。在日本更多。阿部慎之助，中村紀洋，Rhodes，好像都常常這樣甩。
運動比賽能帶給人的一大好處就是極大的鼓舞，讓人參與在積極、高亢的情緒之中。我想一定有許多有益身心的物質分泌出來。
不過這些鼓舞似乎不夠讓我鼓起勁繼續寫中英對照的文章。太累了....
2007年5月29日 星期二
基特語錄 Quotation from Derek Jeter
即使是只為了王建民出賽才看洋基的比賽，但事實上洋基隊陣中我最欣賞的球員是隊長基特。除去王建民之外，其次我所欣賞的則是捕手波沙達和三壘手A-Rod。
Although now I watch the Yankees' games only because Chien-Ming Wang will pitch for them, actually the Yankees player I like the most is the captain Derek Jeter. Besides Wang, the next players I like are the catcher Jorge Posada and the third-base A-Rod.
今天洋基又敗給藍鳥。賽前洋基才開過全隊會議，但還是沒有立即的效果。不過基特在會議後接受記者訪問時說的一段話我覺得很值得摘錄下來。
Today, the Yankees lost their game to the Blue Jays. They had a extended pre-game meeting, but it does not seem to help immediately. Yet, the words Jeter said to the reporters after the meeting deserve to be quoted.
(談到輸球)「你應該覺得困擾。」基特說：「它應該是讓你感覺不愉快的事。你永遠不應該接受它。當你開始接受失敗，你就開始有麻煩了。」
(Concerning losing) "It should bother you," Jeter said. "It should be something that doesn't make you feel good. You never accept it. When you start accepting losing, that's when you're in trouble."
Although now I watch the Yankees' games only because Chien-Ming Wang will pitch for them, actually the Yankees player I like the most is the captain Derek Jeter. Besides Wang, the next players I like are the catcher Jorge Posada and the third-base A-Rod.
今天洋基又敗給藍鳥。賽前洋基才開過全隊會議，但還是沒有立即的效果。不過基特在會議後接受記者訪問時說的一段話我覺得很值得摘錄下來。
Today, the Yankees lost their game to the Blue Jays. They had a extended pre-game meeting, but it does not seem to help immediately. Yet, the words Jeter said to the reporters after the meeting deserve to be quoted.
(談到輸球)「你應該覺得困擾。」基特說：「它應該是讓你感覺不愉快的事。你永遠不應該接受它。當你開始接受失敗，你就開始有麻煩了。」
(Concerning losing) "It should bother you," Jeter said. "It should be something that doesn't make you feel good. You never accept it. When you start accepting losing, that's when you're in trouble."
2007年5月21日 星期一
廢除繁體中文？ Abandon traditional Chinese characters?
昨天收到姐姐轉寄來，說聯合國要廢除繁體中文的網路謠言。轉寄來的信裡要求大家去一個網頁連署抗議。我去年就聽過這是個謠言。但趁這機會或許我應該把我對中國文字的想法分享一下。
Yesterday I received the forwarded internet rumor from my sister saying that the traditional Chinese characters will be abandoned by UN since 2008, and the email calls for people to cosign the statements of protestation on a web page. I already knew that this is a rumor last year. But this time it motivates me to write down what I thought about the traditional Chinese characters.
其實台灣官方已經不用「繁體中文」這個字眼，而改稱為「正體中文」了。雖然其中或許有些政治意義，但基本上我是很贊成這樣的稱呼的。
Actually officially in Taiwan, we do not use the term ``traditional Chinese characters'' anymore. (The Chinese version of this term should be more properly translated into English as the ``complicated Chinese characters'', in contrast with the ``simplified'' ones.) We call it the ``formal Chinese characters'' now. Although there must be some political issues in there, I basically agree with the idea to call them this way.
根據一般公認的歷史，中國文字的初次統一是在秦代。秦始皇要求全國「書同文、語同音、車同軌」。我相信語同音的政策並沒有貫徹，甚至根本沒有推行。以現代觀點來看，這些政策就是在一個統一的國家裡對某些重要「媒介」做標準化。
According to the generally accepted history of China, the first effort to unify the characters was in the Chin dynasty. Chin Shih Huang (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qin_Shi_Huang) requested that over the country people should use the same characters for writing, should speak in the same pronunciation, and should use cars (wagons or carriages) with the same distance between a pair of wheels. I think the policy of unifying the pronunciation was not carried through, if ever really tried to carry out. Anyway, from the modern point of view, this is a series of efforts to standardize some of the important `media' over a unified country.
然而秦代統一文字的方法，實在並非只是制訂一套固定數目的標準字集。根據漢代學者的記載，可以很清楚的了解到：秦人雖然對已經被使用的文字做了整理和刪併，提出了主要使用的官方文字，但更重要的是，他們是根據有系統、有原則的方法去整理這些文字。這些方法和原則，也就是周代以前即存在的「六書」。
However, the way that Chin people unified the characters is not simply to define a set of a fixed number of standard characters. According to the works of Han dynasty scholars, we can clearly see that, although Chin people did clean up, delete and combined characters from those that were in use here or there, and designed a set of official characters, more importantly, they did so with systematic methods. The principles of these methods were based on the so-call ``six categories of characters'' that existed as early as the Chou dynasty, or even earlier. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_character_classification)
訂定原則比訂定字集要來得重要的多，影響也的確深遠得多。秦代時所用的字集，後代有許多許多的增益。雖然從「標準字集」的觀點，這些增益是對標準字集的反叛；但實際上，增修的方法都是已經充分為學界及官方所承襲的正統方法。也就是說，新字主要都是根據六書，尤其是後四書的「形聲、會意、轉注、假借」等原則來產生的。即使是知識水準不必高的普普大眾，只要根據簡單的規則，都可以約略猜測生字所可能代表的意義。或許實際上這種臆測所能取得的文字意義的精確度，並不明顯地低於文字本身所承載的精確性，所以這樣的文字系統的運作方式，在中國的社會裡，幾千年來是相當成功的。
It is much more important to set up the rules than to set up the characters set, and the influence of the rules is indeed much more profound. There were many additions and modifications made over the Chin characters set over the centuries. From the viewpoint of a ``standard characters set'', these modifications are all rebellions. Yet in fact, the ways the characters set is enriched are all formal methods adopted by the academic circle and the governments. In other words, the additions are based on the six principles of characters classification, especially the principles of ``phono-semantic combination, indicative combination, derivation and borrowing.'' Even lay-people, having learned some simple rules, can roughly guess the meanings carried by an unfamiliar character. Perhaps, the accuracy of such conjectures is not much worse than the degree of precision carried by the characters themselves, and thus the characters system had been functioning successfully in Chinese society for more than two thousand years.
換一個角度來做結，可以說中國文字的演變，是依據一套堅實的規則自然演化的，所以才會獲得成功。光從中國的文字史，或許還不易看出這種規則的力量之強大。我們不妨看看日本人如何學習使用漢文字。日文中的漢字，一般都有音讀和訓讀兩類發音。音讀可能有一或少數種，而訓讀則可能有一或多種。常被舉出的例子像是「生」字。當它的文意不同時，有非常多的破音。另外，唐代當時日本的語言中修辭的豐富程度遠低於中文，因此一些抽象的字在日語中簡併度相當高。例如 yasu 一音可能對應「安、康、靖」等字，而 hide 一音可能對應「英、秀」等等， yoshi 可能是「吉、良、佳」等等， akira 可能是「光、明、朗、亮」等等。仔細分析日文中漢字的使用情形，可以發現當時自中國引進漢字到日本的留學生，不只是學寫了一套字，更充分掌握了把中文字運用到另一套口語語言的方法。這也表示，在唐代當時，中國學者對於自己的文字系統的精髓是瞭若指掌的。中文裡面的「溪、河、江」不就是不同方言裡的名詞嗎？收入同一個文字系統之後，不同方言使用者卻都可以理解這些字的意義。以這種「豐富詞彙」的鎔爐方式，以包容的方法來達到「語同音」，而不是禁止所有方言只准許講一種話。這種方式的確是使所有接近漢文化圈的不同文化漸漸以一起豐富的方式同化。再看日本的例子，藉由音讀，日本人學會了唐音(至少是近似的)，而藉由訓讀，其實漢字也得到了更豐富的內容。
To summarize in a different way of saying, the changes of the Chinese characters are natural revolution processes based on a solid set of rules. That is why it was very successful. It is not as easy to learn the power of these rules just by observing the history of characters in China. It may be instructive to look at how Japanese people learned to use `kanji' (which means Han characters). The pronunciations of each kanji in the Japanese language can usually be divided into `ondoku' and `kundoku'. There may be one or a few ondoku and one or several or even many kundoku for one kanji. The most cited example may be the kanji 生. According to its meaning in the context, there are many different ways of pronouncing it. Meanwhile, since the rhetoric part of the Japanese language at the Tang dynasty ages was not as rich as the Chinese language, many of the rhetoric characters in Chinese became degenerate in Japanese pronunciation. For example, `yasu' which means peace or happiness in Japanese corresponds to kanji 安 or 康 or 靖, etc.; `hide' which means elegance corresponds to 英 or 秀, etc.; `yoshi' which means good corresponds to kanji 吉 or 良 or 佳, etc.; `akira' which means brightness corresponds to kanji 光 or 明 or 朗 or 亮, etc. Analyzing the way kanji is used in Japanese, it is easy to see that those Japanese overseas students in China at that time not only learned a huge character-set from China, they also learned very well the ways to apply the rules to a different spoken language. This also implies that the Chinese scholars at that time knew very well the essence of their characters system. In Chinese, the characters 溪 and 河 and 江 which all means river were originally the noun corresponding to the same thing in different dialects. By putting them into the written language with the character construction rules, people speaking different dialects can all understand what the written symbols originated from other dialects correspond to. Enriching the `written vocabulary' in this way, the goal of unifying the pronunciation was gradually achieved by including pronunciations from all different cultures into the same language instead of forbidding to speak dialects. Actually, the cultures of those societies near the Han cultural circle (including the Han culture itself) were enriched together, and adoption happened naturally between these cultures. Coming back to the example of Japanese culture, by using ondoku, Japanese people learned, at least approximately, the Tang pronunciations of Chinese language; by using kundoku, the kanji or Chinese characters gained wider application.
中文字的一個重要特色是一個字攜帶一個意涵。再加上中文的文法很自由，即使把一句話裡的各要素順序調換，往往也不會嚴重影響理解，這使得中文是現今世上仍廣為使用的文字之中，最適合做為「世界語」的文字。意即，如果所有人都學習中文字，即使他們用自己語言的文法去組織寫下的句子，只要經過適當調適，講不同語言的人都應可看懂別人所寫的文句的意思。就好像過去日本人可以用中文字寫官方文書一樣。同時這也是為何很多西方書籍的中譯本唸起來好像是把西方語句硬翻，而我們只是覺得翻得很糟、很不順口，卻往往還是照樣能看懂。如果中文字演變和運用的法則可以得到正確的保存和宣揚，不僅原先在漢文化圈的領導地位依然存在，更可能在世界上扮演積極的溝通媒介的角色。中文原先有非常堅實的優點，主要原因就是根據了一套優異的運用規則。從今天的術語來說，中文字過去的沿革是根據一套「演化式規則」。然而中國共產黨政權推行簡體字的手法，是無視於這種活的規則的優越性，而用蠻力的方法去摧毀舊中文字的系統。我個人並不是反對把中文字做一定程度的簡化。事實上簡字自然會出現在我們的文化中。隨時間過去，約定俗成的力量，會使得那些在既有規則中仍能自圓的改變留存在中文字系統中。這樣得來的簡字，的確會在不影響中文字的威力之下，改善中文字的易用程度。我個人覺得，中國推行簡體字的手法，不需要我們用政治觀點或其它論點去批判。中國人自己把自己家裡珍貴的寶物毀掉，他們所損失的，遠遠超過別人的批評所可能帶來的損害。
One of the characteristics of Chinese characters is that one character carries a complete meaning on its own. Combining with the fact that the grammar rules of Chinese written language are very loose, one can often permute the elements in a sentence without influencing the comprehension of that sentence much. This makes written Chinese language the best candidate of a ``world language'' among all actively used written languages nowadays. That is, if everybody learns Chinese characters, and he writes down the sentences he speaks in Chinese characters according to the grammar of his own language, other people could still easily understand what he writes after some adjustment. This is exactly how Japanese people were able to write official documents totally in Chinese in the old time. This is also why many Chinese translations of writings in western languages read very influent because they look like a direct conversion of sentences of western languages into Chinese, but very often we can still fully understand what they are saying. If the rules of evolution and application of Chinese characters can be preserved and even promoted properly, not only that it can retain its superiority in the Han cultural circle, but it can also play a positive role as the communication media in the whole world. This is just because of the superior rules adopted by the Chinese written language system. With the modern terminology, we can say that the past changes in Chinese characters followed a set of ``generic rules.'' However, the Chinese Communists ignored the superiority of these lively rules and destroyed the Chinese characters system with brutal force. Personally, I am not against the suggestions of simplifying the existing characters set to some extent. In fact, simplified characters spontaneously emerged from time to time. As time passes by, those simplifications that are reasonably compatible with the rules will remain in the actively used characters set through the mechanism of convention. Such simplifications will shorten the learning curve and will make the characters set more user-friendly without sacrificing the power of the rules behind the system. Personally, I think we do not have to criticize the manner in which the simplified characters set was introduced from a political point of view. It is a bloody truth that, by destroying the treasurable they had at hand, the Chinese people have lost far more than the damage of any criticism could possibly do to them.
台灣人由於受到國民黨的統治，有四五十年的時間裡，大部分的人被洗腦，因而把維護漢文化視為己任。我想絕對沒有人可以反駁：至少在中國改革開放、台灣自我本位意識抬頭的年代之前，台灣是世界上唯一積極保存漢文化的地區。其它的政治問題姑且不在此扯出來談。如果中國到現在還不積極去追上腳步、恢復自己的文化資產，還要來打壓台灣使用的文字，那真是在文化上徹底的自絕了。這樣，誰會是漢文化衰敗的大罪人呢？我想是不言自明的問題。然而不能諱言的，台灣現在也面臨同樣的問題。即使強調台灣文化的本體性，也不能蠻橫地忽略：台灣文化的提升，原本就有相當大的成分是依靠與漢文化的同化。台灣語言的本土性，與使用漢文字，是不相違背，也無法分割的。更重要的是，那就是台灣先民的遺跡，是台灣歷史真實的一部分。這也和我們是否願意接受現在的中國政權和中國意識無關。甚至可以說，現在台灣的文化，是比現在的中國的文化還要純正的漢文化。保留我們歷史上累積的漢文化的長處，應該是對台灣歷史負責、對台灣文化的優越性有益的作為，而不必被視為是對現在的中國靠攏。重要的是台灣如何自我提升，並幫助全世界一起提升。
Being governed by KMT after the World War II, for at least forty to fifty years, most of the Taiwanese people were brain-washed to take as their responsibility to preserve Han culture. I think it un-debatable that, at least before China evolved to be more open, and before Taiwanese people became aware of the identity of Taiwan, Taiwan was the only region in the world in which Han culture was actively preserved. Let us forget about other political problems at the moment. If China does not try to catch up in recovering their cultural assets, and moreover it tries to suppress the characters used in Taiwan, then China is absolutely hopeless in terms of its own culture. In that case, it goes without saying who is to be blamed for the corrosion of Han culture. However, I also would not scruple to say that Taiwan is facing a similar problem now. Even if we are emphasizing on the identity of Taiwanese culture, we cannot arbitrarily ignore the fact that the advances of Taiwanese culture, in a large part, were due to the assimilation with Han culture. The localization of Taiwanese language does not go against the employment of Chinese characters, and Chinese characters are not separable from Taiwanese language now. More importantly, it is a part of the real history of Taiwan, it is a part of the remnants of Taiwanese ancestors, to use the Chinese characters. This is nothing to do with whether or not we are in favor of the present Chinese government or Chinese consciousness. We can even say that the present Taiwan culture is a more genuine Han culture than the present `China' culture. It is beneficial to the superiority of Taiwanese culture and is an act to be honest to the Taiwanese history, to preserve the good part of Han culture accumulate in our culture. We do not have to take it as leaning towards the side of the present China government. The important thing is to improve ourselves and to help the world to improve.
Yesterday I received the forwarded internet rumor from my sister saying that the traditional Chinese characters will be abandoned by UN since 2008, and the email calls for people to cosign the statements of protestation on a web page. I already knew that this is a rumor last year. But this time it motivates me to write down what I thought about the traditional Chinese characters.
其實台灣官方已經不用「繁體中文」這個字眼，而改稱為「正體中文」了。雖然其中或許有些政治意義，但基本上我是很贊成這樣的稱呼的。
Actually officially in Taiwan, we do not use the term ``traditional Chinese characters'' anymore. (The Chinese version of this term should be more properly translated into English as the ``complicated Chinese characters'', in contrast with the ``simplified'' ones.) We call it the ``formal Chinese characters'' now. Although there must be some political issues in there, I basically agree with the idea to call them this way.
根據一般公認的歷史，中國文字的初次統一是在秦代。秦始皇要求全國「書同文、語同音、車同軌」。我相信語同音的政策並沒有貫徹，甚至根本沒有推行。以現代觀點來看，這些政策就是在一個統一的國家裡對某些重要「媒介」做標準化。
According to the generally accepted history of China, the first effort to unify the characters was in the Chin dynasty. Chin Shih Huang (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qin_Shi_Huang) requested that over the country people should use the same characters for writing, should speak in the same pronunciation, and should use cars (wagons or carriages) with the same distance between a pair of wheels. I think the policy of unifying the pronunciation was not carried through, if ever really tried to carry out. Anyway, from the modern point of view, this is a series of efforts to standardize some of the important `media' over a unified country.
然而秦代統一文字的方法，實在並非只是制訂一套固定數目的標準字集。根據漢代學者的記載，可以很清楚的了解到：秦人雖然對已經被使用的文字做了整理和刪併，提出了主要使用的官方文字，但更重要的是，他們是根據有系統、有原則的方法去整理這些文字。這些方法和原則，也就是周代以前即存在的「六書」。
However, the way that Chin people unified the characters is not simply to define a set of a fixed number of standard characters. According to the works of Han dynasty scholars, we can clearly see that, although Chin people did clean up, delete and combined characters from those that were in use here or there, and designed a set of official characters, more importantly, they did so with systematic methods. The principles of these methods were based on the so-call ``six categories of characters'' that existed as early as the Chou dynasty, or even earlier. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_character_classification)
訂定原則比訂定字集要來得重要的多，影響也的確深遠得多。秦代時所用的字集，後代有許多許多的增益。雖然從「標準字集」的觀點，這些增益是對標準字集的反叛；但實際上，增修的方法都是已經充分為學界及官方所承襲的正統方法。也就是說，新字主要都是根據六書，尤其是後四書的「形聲、會意、轉注、假借」等原則來產生的。即使是知識水準不必高的普普大眾，只要根據簡單的規則，都可以約略猜測生字所可能代表的意義。或許實際上這種臆測所能取得的文字意義的精確度，並不明顯地低於文字本身所承載的精確性，所以這樣的文字系統的運作方式，在中國的社會裡，幾千年來是相當成功的。
It is much more important to set up the rules than to set up the characters set, and the influence of the rules is indeed much more profound. There were many additions and modifications made over the Chin characters set over the centuries. From the viewpoint of a ``standard characters set'', these modifications are all rebellions. Yet in fact, the ways the characters set is enriched are all formal methods adopted by the academic circle and the governments. In other words, the additions are based on the six principles of characters classification, especially the principles of ``phono-semantic combination, indicative combination, derivation and borrowing.'' Even lay-people, having learned some simple rules, can roughly guess the meanings carried by an unfamiliar character. Perhaps, the accuracy of such conjectures is not much worse than the degree of precision carried by the characters themselves, and thus the characters system had been functioning successfully in Chinese society for more than two thousand years.
換一個角度來做結，可以說中國文字的演變，是依據一套堅實的規則自然演化的，所以才會獲得成功。光從中國的文字史，或許還不易看出這種規則的力量之強大。我們不妨看看日本人如何學習使用漢文字。日文中的漢字，一般都有音讀和訓讀兩類發音。音讀可能有一或少數種，而訓讀則可能有一或多種。常被舉出的例子像是「生」字。當它的文意不同時，有非常多的破音。另外，唐代當時日本的語言中修辭的豐富程度遠低於中文，因此一些抽象的字在日語中簡併度相當高。例如 yasu 一音可能對應「安、康、靖」等字，而 hide 一音可能對應「英、秀」等等， yoshi 可能是「吉、良、佳」等等， akira 可能是「光、明、朗、亮」等等。仔細分析日文中漢字的使用情形，可以發現當時自中國引進漢字到日本的留學生，不只是學寫了一套字，更充分掌握了把中文字運用到另一套口語語言的方法。這也表示，在唐代當時，中國學者對於自己的文字系統的精髓是瞭若指掌的。中文裡面的「溪、河、江」不就是不同方言裡的名詞嗎？收入同一個文字系統之後，不同方言使用者卻都可以理解這些字的意義。以這種「豐富詞彙」的鎔爐方式，以包容的方法來達到「語同音」，而不是禁止所有方言只准許講一種話。這種方式的確是使所有接近漢文化圈的不同文化漸漸以一起豐富的方式同化。再看日本的例子，藉由音讀，日本人學會了唐音(至少是近似的)，而藉由訓讀，其實漢字也得到了更豐富的內容。
To summarize in a different way of saying, the changes of the Chinese characters are natural revolution processes based on a solid set of rules. That is why it was very successful. It is not as easy to learn the power of these rules just by observing the history of characters in China. It may be instructive to look at how Japanese people learned to use `kanji' (which means Han characters). The pronunciations of each kanji in the Japanese language can usually be divided into `ondoku' and `kundoku'. There may be one or a few ondoku and one or several or even many kundoku for one kanji. The most cited example may be the kanji 生. According to its meaning in the context, there are many different ways of pronouncing it. Meanwhile, since the rhetoric part of the Japanese language at the Tang dynasty ages was not as rich as the Chinese language, many of the rhetoric characters in Chinese became degenerate in Japanese pronunciation. For example, `yasu' which means peace or happiness in Japanese corresponds to kanji 安 or 康 or 靖, etc.; `hide' which means elegance corresponds to 英 or 秀, etc.; `yoshi' which means good corresponds to kanji 吉 or 良 or 佳, etc.; `akira' which means brightness corresponds to kanji 光 or 明 or 朗 or 亮, etc. Analyzing the way kanji is used in Japanese, it is easy to see that those Japanese overseas students in China at that time not only learned a huge character-set from China, they also learned very well the ways to apply the rules to a different spoken language. This also implies that the Chinese scholars at that time knew very well the essence of their characters system. In Chinese, the characters 溪 and 河 and 江 which all means river were originally the noun corresponding to the same thing in different dialects. By putting them into the written language with the character construction rules, people speaking different dialects can all understand what the written symbols originated from other dialects correspond to. Enriching the `written vocabulary' in this way, the goal of unifying the pronunciation was gradually achieved by including pronunciations from all different cultures into the same language instead of forbidding to speak dialects. Actually, the cultures of those societies near the Han cultural circle (including the Han culture itself) were enriched together, and adoption happened naturally between these cultures. Coming back to the example of Japanese culture, by using ondoku, Japanese people learned, at least approximately, the Tang pronunciations of Chinese language; by using kundoku, the kanji or Chinese characters gained wider application.
中文字的一個重要特色是一個字攜帶一個意涵。再加上中文的文法很自由，即使把一句話裡的各要素順序調換，往往也不會嚴重影響理解，這使得中文是現今世上仍廣為使用的文字之中，最適合做為「世界語」的文字。意即，如果所有人都學習中文字，即使他們用自己語言的文法去組織寫下的句子，只要經過適當調適，講不同語言的人都應可看懂別人所寫的文句的意思。就好像過去日本人可以用中文字寫官方文書一樣。同時這也是為何很多西方書籍的中譯本唸起來好像是把西方語句硬翻，而我們只是覺得翻得很糟、很不順口，卻往往還是照樣能看懂。如果中文字演變和運用的法則可以得到正確的保存和宣揚，不僅原先在漢文化圈的領導地位依然存在，更可能在世界上扮演積極的溝通媒介的角色。中文原先有非常堅實的優點，主要原因就是根據了一套優異的運用規則。從今天的術語來說，中文字過去的沿革是根據一套「演化式規則」。然而中國共產黨政權推行簡體字的手法，是無視於這種活的規則的優越性，而用蠻力的方法去摧毀舊中文字的系統。我個人並不是反對把中文字做一定程度的簡化。事實上簡字自然會出現在我們的文化中。隨時間過去，約定俗成的力量，會使得那些在既有規則中仍能自圓的改變留存在中文字系統中。這樣得來的簡字，的確會在不影響中文字的威力之下，改善中文字的易用程度。我個人覺得，中國推行簡體字的手法，不需要我們用政治觀點或其它論點去批判。中國人自己把自己家裡珍貴的寶物毀掉，他們所損失的，遠遠超過別人的批評所可能帶來的損害。
One of the characteristics of Chinese characters is that one character carries a complete meaning on its own. Combining with the fact that the grammar rules of Chinese written language are very loose, one can often permute the elements in a sentence without influencing the comprehension of that sentence much. This makes written Chinese language the best candidate of a ``world language'' among all actively used written languages nowadays. That is, if everybody learns Chinese characters, and he writes down the sentences he speaks in Chinese characters according to the grammar of his own language, other people could still easily understand what he writes after some adjustment. This is exactly how Japanese people were able to write official documents totally in Chinese in the old time. This is also why many Chinese translations of writings in western languages read very influent because they look like a direct conversion of sentences of western languages into Chinese, but very often we can still fully understand what they are saying. If the rules of evolution and application of Chinese characters can be preserved and even promoted properly, not only that it can retain its superiority in the Han cultural circle, but it can also play a positive role as the communication media in the whole world. This is just because of the superior rules adopted by the Chinese written language system. With the modern terminology, we can say that the past changes in Chinese characters followed a set of ``generic rules.'' However, the Chinese Communists ignored the superiority of these lively rules and destroyed the Chinese characters system with brutal force. Personally, I am not against the suggestions of simplifying the existing characters set to some extent. In fact, simplified characters spontaneously emerged from time to time. As time passes by, those simplifications that are reasonably compatible with the rules will remain in the actively used characters set through the mechanism of convention. Such simplifications will shorten the learning curve and will make the characters set more user-friendly without sacrificing the power of the rules behind the system. Personally, I think we do not have to criticize the manner in which the simplified characters set was introduced from a political point of view. It is a bloody truth that, by destroying the treasurable they had at hand, the Chinese people have lost far more than the damage of any criticism could possibly do to them.
台灣人由於受到國民黨的統治，有四五十年的時間裡，大部分的人被洗腦，因而把維護漢文化視為己任。我想絕對沒有人可以反駁：至少在中國改革開放、台灣自我本位意識抬頭的年代之前，台灣是世界上唯一積極保存漢文化的地區。其它的政治問題姑且不在此扯出來談。如果中國到現在還不積極去追上腳步、恢復自己的文化資產，還要來打壓台灣使用的文字，那真是在文化上徹底的自絕了。這樣，誰會是漢文化衰敗的大罪人呢？我想是不言自明的問題。然而不能諱言的，台灣現在也面臨同樣的問題。即使強調台灣文化的本體性，也不能蠻橫地忽略：台灣文化的提升，原本就有相當大的成分是依靠與漢文化的同化。台灣語言的本土性，與使用漢文字，是不相違背，也無法分割的。更重要的是，那就是台灣先民的遺跡，是台灣歷史真實的一部分。這也和我們是否願意接受現在的中國政權和中國意識無關。甚至可以說，現在台灣的文化，是比現在的中國的文化還要純正的漢文化。保留我們歷史上累積的漢文化的長處，應該是對台灣歷史負責、對台灣文化的優越性有益的作為，而不必被視為是對現在的中國靠攏。重要的是台灣如何自我提升，並幫助全世界一起提升。
Being governed by KMT after the World War II, for at least forty to fifty years, most of the Taiwanese people were brain-washed to take as their responsibility to preserve Han culture. I think it un-debatable that, at least before China evolved to be more open, and before Taiwanese people became aware of the identity of Taiwan, Taiwan was the only region in the world in which Han culture was actively preserved. Let us forget about other political problems at the moment. If China does not try to catch up in recovering their cultural assets, and moreover it tries to suppress the characters used in Taiwan, then China is absolutely hopeless in terms of its own culture. In that case, it goes without saying who is to be blamed for the corrosion of Han culture. However, I also would not scruple to say that Taiwan is facing a similar problem now. Even if we are emphasizing on the identity of Taiwanese culture, we cannot arbitrarily ignore the fact that the advances of Taiwanese culture, in a large part, were due to the assimilation with Han culture. The localization of Taiwanese language does not go against the employment of Chinese characters, and Chinese characters are not separable from Taiwanese language now. More importantly, it is a part of the real history of Taiwan, it is a part of the remnants of Taiwanese ancestors, to use the Chinese characters. This is nothing to do with whether or not we are in favor of the present Chinese government or Chinese consciousness. We can even say that the present Taiwan culture is a more genuine Han culture than the present `China' culture. It is beneficial to the superiority of Taiwanese culture and is an act to be honest to the Taiwanese history, to preserve the good part of Han culture accumulate in our culture. We do not have to take it as leaning towards the side of the present China government. The important thing is to improve ourselves and to help the world to improve.
2007年5月18日 星期五
王建民的上一敗 Wang's lost against the Rangers, May 10.
檢討勝利往往是沒多大用處的。檢討失敗比較能有收穫。前前一場對遊騎兵隊失七分輸球之後，上一場建仔又恢復狀況了。尤其是在五月中還要在不到八度的氣溫下頂著強風投球，可以明顯地看出，建仔的控球比起兩隊所有其它投手都穩定不少。可見他對自我的掌控是讓人可以放心的。連托瑞都說：「我不覺得他的五場球有哪一場是投得不好的。」由此，我覺得托瑞和一些其它專家的看法，可能和我有些許相同之處，尤其是針對最慘的遊騎兵之戰。趕快趁印象深刻，把我的觀察寫一寫。
It is usually not very useful to reflect on a game won. Instead, many insights could be gained by reflecting on the lost games. On May 10, Wang lost the game to the Rangers after giving up 7 earned runs. Happily, he is again stablized in the May 16 game vs the White Sox. Thinking about that he had to pitch at 46 deg.F, in the strong wind, it was obvious that his command and control were better than that of all the other pitchers in that game. I think, win or lose, his self-contral is now much reliable. Even Torre said that he does not think Wang was pitching poorly in any of the 5 games. This comment made me think that maybe Torre and some other experts share the same feeling as I had concerning the May 10 game, the 'worst' game Wang had ever pitched according to the numbers. So I'll just write down what I thought when I still remember it.
建仔的一個優點就是能夠很快在逆境中回穩。對他來說，一局失三分已經算是大局了。但是當天他投了兩個失三分的大局。第二個大局，事實上兩分責失是他下場後被打回來的，所以我們很難去假設如果是他自己投會是什麼結果。最值得檢討的是就是第五局。
One of Wang's good points is that he is calm and he quickly stablizes in troubles. When he was pitching, a three-run inning is already a big inning for the opponents. Yet on May 1o, he allowed two innings with 3 runs. In the 7th inning, 2 of the 3 runs were batted in after he stepped down. Therefore, we are not in the position to judge what whould have happened if he remained in the game at that time. The inning that deserves the most reflection is, of course, the fifth.
很多人都為建仔抱不平說，第五局也不是王建民自己搞砸的。要是阿布瑞尤不要守那麼淺，就不會出現三壘安打；要是 A-Rod 觸殺成功，也許一分都不會掉。的確，阿布瑞尤如果一開始守退後三步，那三壘安打根本不存在；接下來建仔連續再製造了兩個內野滾地球，根本該局已經結束，根本不會出現什麼三壘本壘間夾殺。
Many people felt it unfair for Wang. They think Wang did not screw up the fifth inning by himself. If Abreu was not in such a shallow position when Laird was batting, there may not be that triple; and if A-Rod tag Laird out in front of the home plate, maybe there would not be any run in that inning. Indeed, if Abreu was say three steps farther at the beginning, Laird would have flied out. And afterward, Wang had induced two in-bount ground balls. The inning would have already finished without that action between the third and home.
做為一個台灣球迷，我當然是一心支持建仔。但是反覆思索，我覺得我一點也不責備阿布瑞尤和 A-Rod。為什麼呢？因為其實建仔當天到第五局為止，造成滾地球的次數仍然是一貫地超水準，被打出安打也幾乎都只是強勁滾地。到他退場時，至少滾地/飛球出局比是 16 比 3，比16號的比賽還厲害。所以，阿布瑞尤為什麼要守得深呢？他守得淺，更有助於減低穿出內野的滾球的傷害。因此在第五局的那個當下，我如果是阿布瑞尤，我還是會站在同樣的位置等。
As a Taiwanese fan, of course I support Wang whole-heartedly. But after recalling the situations many many times, I think I put no blame on Abreu and A-Rod at all. Until the fifth inning, Wang was as efficient as before in inducing ground balls. The hits he allowed are mostly strong ground balls that penetrated into the outer field. Even when he stepped down, the ground-out/fly-out ratio is still 16/3, even better than the number on May 16. In that case, why should Abreu go deep into the field? Standing in a shallow positon would help reducing the damage caused by the penetrating ground balls. Therefore, if I were Abreu at that moment, I would no doubt stand in the same position as he did.
至於 A-Rod 的夾殺失敗，是個很接近的判決。但我們姑且不要把它當誤判來討論。我想技術上最大的重點是 A-Rod 為什麼決定自己追 Laird 而不是傳到本壘？一個明星內野手怎麼可能不知道：夾殺時最好是由前面的壘的守備者來追跑者這個道理？但是大家稍微回想就會發現， A-Rod 想回傳本壘的時候，本壘只有一個守備者，就是建仔。當我看到 A-Rod 舉起球，停了一下，又決定自己去追 Laird 時，我感受到的不是 A-Rod 沒處理好，而是感受到 A-Rod 對建仔的愛護。他寧可拼到自己下巴都撞破，也不想讓 Laird 去衝撞建仔。我個人充分相信當時 A-Rod 想到的比球評、觀眾都還多。從這個小動作，我覺得建仔已經充分贏得隊友的信賴和珍惜，即使是像 A-Rod 這樣高身價的大明星。
As to the missed tagging by A-Rod, actually it was a very close call. But to reflect the situation, let us not take it as a misjudge in the first place. I think the most important techincal problem to think about is why A-Rod decided to chase Laird by himself instead of passing the ball to the home plate. Is it possible that an all-star inner-fielder does not know it better to have the defender at the plate ahead to chase the runner? However, if one recalls the situation one can find that at that moment Posada had already avoided the path and there was only Wang at the home plate. When A-Rod raised his arm and paused for a short moment and then decided to chase Laird by himself, what I have sensed in not that A-Rod screwed up the action. Instead, I immediately felt that A-Rod was protecting Wang. He would rather run so hard that he had the scrape on his chin, than to let Laird collide with Wang at home. Personally, I strongly belive that A-Rod had thought more than the commentators and the audience did at that moment. From that delicate move, I felt that Wang has already gained the most natural and thus spontaneous love from his teamates, including A-Rod who is such a highly-paid superstar.
即使是把每一球都投得完美，也不能保證有好結果。只要球要進好球帶，總會有人可能打到。但是建仔能夠有今天的穩定表現，除了個人優異的運動員氣質和個性，以及苦練的成績之外，能夠有效地獲得隊友的支持和向心力，絕對是不可忽視的因素。那天第五局掉的三分，與其視為是建仔在本季趕業績時的一個挫折，毋寧視為是建仔與隊友的細膩互動的一個小插曲。沒有人能不敗的，但若敗是敗在隊友太保護自己以至於做了一些不太好的判斷，也許對建仔未來的路，其實正面的價值仍然是很高的。
Even if a pitcher can pitch every pitch perfectly, it is not automatic that the result will be perfect. As long as you have to pitch into the strike zone, someone will be able to slam the ball sometimes. However, besides his own excellent characteristics as an athlet and his hard works, Wang can perform so efficiently and stably now also because that he had efficiently won the support from his teamates so that the chemistry is very good when he pitches. As to the three runs earned in the fifth on that day, instead of thinking of them as a frustration on the road of Wang's re-establishment in this season, I would rather think of them as a heart-warming incident grown out of the delicate interactions between Wang and his teamates. No one can be invincible. But if Wang lost the game because of the minor mistakes his teamates commited out of their over-protection on him, it is not necessarily a bad thing for the future of Wang.
It is usually not very useful to reflect on a game won. Instead, many insights could be gained by reflecting on the lost games. On May 10, Wang lost the game to the Rangers after giving up 7 earned runs. Happily, he is again stablized in the May 16 game vs the White Sox. Thinking about that he had to pitch at 46 deg.F, in the strong wind, it was obvious that his command and control were better than that of all the other pitchers in that game. I think, win or lose, his self-contral is now much reliable. Even Torre said that he does not think Wang was pitching poorly in any of the 5 games. This comment made me think that maybe Torre and some other experts share the same feeling as I had concerning the May 10 game, the 'worst' game Wang had ever pitched according to the numbers. So I'll just write down what I thought when I still remember it.
建仔的一個優點就是能夠很快在逆境中回穩。對他來說，一局失三分已經算是大局了。但是當天他投了兩個失三分的大局。第二個大局，事實上兩分責失是他下場後被打回來的，所以我們很難去假設如果是他自己投會是什麼結果。最值得檢討的是就是第五局。
One of Wang's good points is that he is calm and he quickly stablizes in troubles. When he was pitching, a three-run inning is already a big inning for the opponents. Yet on May 1o, he allowed two innings with 3 runs. In the 7th inning, 2 of the 3 runs were batted in after he stepped down. Therefore, we are not in the position to judge what whould have happened if he remained in the game at that time. The inning that deserves the most reflection is, of course, the fifth.
很多人都為建仔抱不平說，第五局也不是王建民自己搞砸的。要是阿布瑞尤不要守那麼淺，就不會出現三壘安打；要是 A-Rod 觸殺成功，也許一分都不會掉。的確，阿布瑞尤如果一開始守退後三步，那三壘安打根本不存在；接下來建仔連續再製造了兩個內野滾地球，根本該局已經結束，根本不會出現什麼三壘本壘間夾殺。
Many people felt it unfair for Wang. They think Wang did not screw up the fifth inning by himself. If Abreu was not in such a shallow position when Laird was batting, there may not be that triple; and if A-Rod tag Laird out in front of the home plate, maybe there would not be any run in that inning. Indeed, if Abreu was say three steps farther at the beginning, Laird would have flied out. And afterward, Wang had induced two in-bount ground balls. The inning would have already finished without that action between the third and home.
做為一個台灣球迷，我當然是一心支持建仔。但是反覆思索，我覺得我一點也不責備阿布瑞尤和 A-Rod。為什麼呢？因為其實建仔當天到第五局為止，造成滾地球的次數仍然是一貫地超水準，被打出安打也幾乎都只是強勁滾地。到他退場時，至少滾地/飛球出局比是 16 比 3，比16號的比賽還厲害。所以，阿布瑞尤為什麼要守得深呢？他守得淺，更有助於減低穿出內野的滾球的傷害。因此在第五局的那個當下，我如果是阿布瑞尤，我還是會站在同樣的位置等。
As a Taiwanese fan, of course I support Wang whole-heartedly. But after recalling the situations many many times, I think I put no blame on Abreu and A-Rod at all. Until the fifth inning, Wang was as efficient as before in inducing ground balls. The hits he allowed are mostly strong ground balls that penetrated into the outer field. Even when he stepped down, the ground-out/fly-out ratio is still 16/3, even better than the number on May 16. In that case, why should Abreu go deep into the field? Standing in a shallow positon would help reducing the damage caused by the penetrating ground balls. Therefore, if I were Abreu at that moment, I would no doubt stand in the same position as he did.
至於 A-Rod 的夾殺失敗，是個很接近的判決。但我們姑且不要把它當誤判來討論。我想技術上最大的重點是 A-Rod 為什麼決定自己追 Laird 而不是傳到本壘？一個明星內野手怎麼可能不知道：夾殺時最好是由前面的壘的守備者來追跑者這個道理？但是大家稍微回想就會發現， A-Rod 想回傳本壘的時候，本壘只有一個守備者，就是建仔。當我看到 A-Rod 舉起球，停了一下，又決定自己去追 Laird 時，我感受到的不是 A-Rod 沒處理好，而是感受到 A-Rod 對建仔的愛護。他寧可拼到自己下巴都撞破，也不想讓 Laird 去衝撞建仔。我個人充分相信當時 A-Rod 想到的比球評、觀眾都還多。從這個小動作，我覺得建仔已經充分贏得隊友的信賴和珍惜，即使是像 A-Rod 這樣高身價的大明星。
As to the missed tagging by A-Rod, actually it was a very close call. But to reflect the situation, let us not take it as a misjudge in the first place. I think the most important techincal problem to think about is why A-Rod decided to chase Laird by himself instead of passing the ball to the home plate. Is it possible that an all-star inner-fielder does not know it better to have the defender at the plate ahead to chase the runner? However, if one recalls the situation one can find that at that moment Posada had already avoided the path and there was only Wang at the home plate. When A-Rod raised his arm and paused for a short moment and then decided to chase Laird by himself, what I have sensed in not that A-Rod screwed up the action. Instead, I immediately felt that A-Rod was protecting Wang. He would rather run so hard that he had the scrape on his chin, than to let Laird collide with Wang at home. Personally, I strongly belive that A-Rod had thought more than the commentators and the audience did at that moment. From that delicate move, I felt that Wang has already gained the most natural and thus spontaneous love from his teamates, including A-Rod who is such a highly-paid superstar.
即使是把每一球都投得完美，也不能保證有好結果。只要球要進好球帶，總會有人可能打到。但是建仔能夠有今天的穩定表現，除了個人優異的運動員氣質和個性，以及苦練的成績之外，能夠有效地獲得隊友的支持和向心力，絕對是不可忽視的因素。那天第五局掉的三分，與其視為是建仔在本季趕業績時的一個挫折，毋寧視為是建仔與隊友的細膩互動的一個小插曲。沒有人能不敗的，但若敗是敗在隊友太保護自己以至於做了一些不太好的判斷，也許對建仔未來的路，其實正面的價值仍然是很高的。
Even if a pitcher can pitch every pitch perfectly, it is not automatic that the result will be perfect. As long as you have to pitch into the strike zone, someone will be able to slam the ball sometimes. However, besides his own excellent characteristics as an athlet and his hard works, Wang can perform so efficiently and stably now also because that he had efficiently won the support from his teamates so that the chemistry is very good when he pitches. As to the three runs earned in the fifth on that day, instead of thinking of them as a frustration on the road of Wang's re-establishment in this season, I would rather think of them as a heart-warming incident grown out of the delicate interactions between Wang and his teamates. No one can be invincible. But if Wang lost the game because of the minor mistakes his teamates commited out of their over-protection on him, it is not necessarily a bad thing for the future of Wang.
訂閱：
文章 (Atom)
妻，和今晚同行的同學咩咩，我們七年多前都曾為了政黨輪替終於實現而一起興奮、激動。七年多過去，經歷父喪而與在工廠為人煮飯的母親相依為命的咩咩，對於 社會經濟的變化，比起我們似乎受到更多的衝擊。當我們一同步出會場時，她說：「今天謝長廷講的話，有一段幾乎讓我感動掉淚。」號稱日劇女王的咩咩，原本說 這樣的話不會讓我們訝異。但她接著說：「但我已經不相信選了誰會能夠解決所有的問題。」
我對她說：「七年多前我們追求的是一件從未達成的目標，就是政黨輪替。那個目標已經實現了。如果今天我們還相信選某個人會解決所有的問題，那我們其實一點進步都沒有。真正建全的民主社會，本來選哪個人都不是為了解決所有問題的。」
相反地，想要愚弄人民的人，會在社會上營造問題，然後讓人民把焦點只放在某些問題上，並且因而期望選(支持、或服從)某個特定的人或黨便會解決這些問題。中共是如此，國民黨也是如此。阿扁若不採取更平衡的路線，也會變成像是如此。
中共的改革開放及對台政策，就是一些這樣的策略。它希望人民擔心民生問題。它給人民賺錢的機會，希望人民會怕失去目前的榮景，從而不願見到共黨政權衰敗。 國民黨也是一樣(我們實現了政黨輪替，但也造就了全世界最邪惡的在野黨)。他們阻撓國家發展，讓人民不得不把關注放在經濟問題上，然後宣稱他們才關心經濟 問題、民進黨不管人民死活。總之，他們都企圖利用人民渴求富裕生活的苟安心態，把人民的注意焦點轉向。
在今天這個場合，才感受到台灣人民還有足夠的底力，可以明智地對抗經濟問題的壓抑或誘惑。人，有比吃香喝辣更值得去追求的東西。以前裴溥言老師曾經在我面 前批評道：當年抗戰結束後，有很多學生對政府抗議，說什麼「反飢餓」。她說當年流亡學生，政府每個月每人發多少大洋，他們憑什麼喊反飢餓？面對這位業師， 我始終沒有敢說出我心裡的回答：「因為拿那幾塊大洋，失去的是尊嚴。不肯出賣尊嚴的人就要餓肚子。」我衷心希望台灣人民追求自主尊嚴的決心可以傳播出去、 也可以一直保留下去，即使建國成功，也永遠不要消退。
另外，胡大姐，關於勘誤表，我也有個心底的小往事想說。大一升大二的期間，因為小有文名(我的成績不如胡大姐輝煌，高中時只拿到省賽作文第二名)，又很受 國文老師喜愛，因而被同學介紹到國民黨省黨部雙十園雜誌打工。當時國民黨為了輔選，把原本在台中發行的雙十園，搬到台北發行，並增列十倍以上的預算。輔選 的對象是後來新黨的幾位大老，包括趙少康、郁慕明、李勝峰等都是重點。每周六，我就到新店的中華印刷廠吃免費的中飯，下午就開始看雜誌的二校，有一位中華 印刷廠的老師父陪我一起看。後來因為表現太優異，一校二校都要我全看。看一校和看二校不同。最趕的稿子，我還得要現場看...也就是寫稿的人一面寫，一面 送進去排，大約隔半個小時我就要在撰稿人桌邊現場看一校；一校送進去改好之後我再看二校。那時雙十園的總編是後來中央日報主筆樊祥麟；而在台北負責刊物運 作的是現在立法院頭號惡婆娘洪秀柱。大約有半年的時間，我是坐在樊祥麟旁邊等稿，偶而洪秀柱會跑來在我們背後喋喋不休。
最可笑的是，當時最後才在趕的稿，其實都是所謂「讀者投書」。什麼意思呢？就是後來郭子乾在電視上搞的那一套。樊祥麟一個人坐在那裡，取各種的化名，不斷捏造著讀者投書。
雖然事後回想，我當時一心一意只是為了那筆優渥的薪水，以及不斷地證明自己校對能力有多強，並且後來還有權批改樊祥麟寫不好的句子，政治問題根本不是我當 時關心的事。但是，就像胡大姐在紀念詹益樺的文章中問的：是否曾經有意無意地也成為迫害者的一分子。這段經歷現在一直在我心裡成為一個梗子。
尤其是，現在掐指算算，當時胡大姐正在為了「自由時代」日夜操勞吧！我竟是在校對著國民黨的刊物。
今天交給您的勘誤表，我自己堅持要用手寫，不用電腦打。有點像是西方的狂熱天主教徒要學基督揹十字架一樣的心情。相信您可以看得出來，整本書我是一字不漏 地細看過的。我當然希望您看了覺得我做得夠好。但我希望您不要說出半個謝字。因為是您讓我有這個機會贖罪。「島嶼愛戀」還沒有整理完。希望下次我們約聚會 時可以交給您。手寫的缺點就是沒有留底。今天出門前我也沒有再影印一分。回家路上還在想：您會不會要拿的東西太多而弄丟了。但假使真弄丟了也無所謂。我只 不過是要再從頭看一次，又多了一天贖罪的功課。求之不得。
該睡了，明天還有分內的工作得做。